Written by Nae mair crap
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Friday, 13 May 2011

image for George Osborne backs the £2.50 play park entrance fee
mummy, that girls shoes are so last year, is she what you call poor?

Wandsworth, London: Children, all dressed in the latest play park friendly, designer gear from the Slide and Swing fashion house, are to be heard, screaming and whooping derision at less well off kids from the latest must have status symbol.

Chancellor of the Exchequer,George Osborne is a regular visitor, with his kids.

"We must pay down the deficit in any way we can," he commented, "if it means paying to enter children's play parks then we have to do it. There is no alternative."

When asked if he thought that it was really necessary to adorn swing seats and slides with Tory slogans aimed at deficit deniers, Mr Osborne, took a deep breath and told our reporter to, "get real."

Outside the park, peering enviously through railings and eyeing the moat round the playpark, built to deter the poor, wide eyed poor kids could only look on in envy.

Local residents have resorted to collecting door to door in aid of the poor kids.

"We have been able to help 50 poor kids so far" said an organiser, "but the rich kids go into "playpark denier mode" as soon as our poor kids enter the park."

Osborne resorted to calling his chums at the Met to eject the poor kids as the rich kids collapsed in hysterics, one by one, as a reaction to their privileged grounds being swamped by the oiks.

Education Secretary, Michael Gove, will divert funds from his school's budget to provide an up market, exclusive playpark in the Rose Garden at 10 Downing Street. He will then ensure that a network, exclusive of course, of "Free Parks" will be built throughout posh areas of the UK. Entry will only be available to millionaires and rich children capable of passing the English Bac.

No LibDems allowed, it's not in the Coalition Agreement apparently.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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