Written by Cornelius P Lynch
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Thursday, 12 May 2011

image for "45 Messages From John Prescott Hacked" Court Told - Former Deputy Prime Minister to seek Judicial Review
"Get yer knickers off, I'll be round in 5"

A private investigator is said to have intercepted up to 45 messages from the then Deputy Prime Minister and then emailed them to the News of the Screws, the High Court heard today.

Lord Prescott's lawyers told how their client had been the victim of an organised and deliberate attempt to damage his political reputation by revealing secret goings on. Further the Metropolitan Police had lied to him when they told him that he was not one of the phone hacking victims.

The High Court heard how the private investigator, Glenn Muckraker, had targeted Prescott by listening to his messages to his chief of staff, his wife and several other unidentified women.

Muckraker then sent an email to a News of the Screws executive containing several of the messages. One of the messages was to Prescott's wife Pauline. "Don't forget to go to the Chinky and get a 57, a 45, an 89 and special fried rice luv" Another, to his chief of staff said "Lamb Buna? Bloody great idea lad." One of the messages to an unknown female simply said "You. Me. Croquet lawn. 12 o'clock."

The Metropolitan Police now admit that they were slow to alert Mr Prescott. Lawyers for the police told the court that the delay was caused by "officers wanting to listen to the tapes in full, and also wanting to share them with all their friends and families."

On leaving the High Court Prescott said "I could fookin murder a kebab"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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