Adolf Hitler has been convicted by a German court for being a Nazi. The court sentenced him to 5 years, although he is expected to have this sentence at least halved on the grounds that he is in fact dead.
The court heard how Hitler had planned world domination for several years, and extracts from Mein Kampf were read out to the court. Sentencing, Judge Rudi Wakening said "Before us we have the leader of the Third Reich. Either that or a piss poor Charlie Chaplin impersonation."
In court Hitler claimed that he was in fact Barry Cringle, a toilet seat salesman fron Swindon. However, under cross examination he admitted that his toilet seats did play 'Deutschland Uber Alles' when it was time to stand up again. He was also at a loss to explain why he only sold toilet seats to Aryan households.
The Law's an Ass
In a ground-breaking case the prosecution proved how Hitler had attempted to cover his identity by becoming the top toilet seat salesman in the M3 corridor. "He launched a blitzkreig around the South and South West of England. Homeowners were subjected to a rant as to why his seats were of superior quality, of their craftsmanship and of how the Jews were in league with Armitage Shanks" said Nigel Twing, appearing for the prosecution.
History is Bunk
Hitler had previously stood trial, accused of being Pol Pot. That time he had escaped sentence by claiming to be Mike Belcher, a second hand pencil seller from Dewsbury. Clearly this time he has run out of luck.