Written by Erskin Quint
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Wednesday, 11 May 2011

image for Pippa Middleton Bares Her Ass Photos
Deliberate Manipulation Of Internet Search-Engine Functionality: A Stuffed Donkey Yesterday.

All eyes are on Pippa Middleton after her head-turning role at the Royal Wedding. Global millions were transfixed by Pippa's classy chassis as they took in the Westminster Abbey spectacular.

Her Almost-Royal Litheness wowed us all with her slinky gym-honed shapeliness amd radiated English-Rose loveliness as she carried off her bridesmaid duties to pretty perfection on the very biggest of big days.

Society writer Plum Gobbe says: "Pippa's that ultimate confection: she has the glamour of Royal association without being bound by Royal convention.

"She ticks all the correct social boxes. She slaves away three days a week organising parties for the Buffe-Orpingtons and their ilk, she likes nothing better than a good day's rook-slaughtering on the Scottish moors, and, every Burns Night, she stays at Drambuie Castle with the McDrivvle of McDrivvle. There, she loves to spend the afternoon shooting haggis and, on the night, she helps with the carrying-in of the drunken evicted Highlander into the local Inn.

"And at the same time as all this, she's quite capable of getting naughty pictures of herself in her swimwear and underwear spread all over the internet like a popular celebrity."

The public has acquired a voracious appetite for pert Pippa since they lapped up the sight of her slender buttocks wrapped enticingly like peaches in muslin in her Royal bridesmaid's dress.

Ever more revealing snaps of the girl named Number One Society Singleton are surfacing as the online community goes Pippaholic.

"The latest thing is Pics from Pippa's Past says Victoria Murke-Belvedere, Editrice of society magazine Torn Apart By Hounds.

"Photographs of a very young Pippa unwrapping one of her favourite toys at Christmas have gone ballistic the last couple of days, since we released them onto the 'net.

"They are very cute, these shots of her taking the Christmas paper off the old stuffed donkey that was to become her favourite companion.

"Some people have suggested that we have deliberately manipulated the possibilities of internet search-engine functionality in order to further our own and Pippa's commercial ends, but we cannot possibly account for all interpretations that might arise.

"We can only account for the money that is pouring in, and we have had no complaints from our accountants whatsoever."

Meanwhile, Pippa Middleton hopes to cash in on her new-found fame and sexy celebrity by using it to boost the coffers of the posh party-planning businesses she works for.

But if Pippa and her properly posh pals make a perfectly pert pile out of all this, and if, like the Royal Wedding viewers gazing at Pippa's shapely rump, those glued to the internet get a real Royal kick out of spending their lives looking at pictures of Pippa in her underwear - where's the harm in that?

Where indeed?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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