Sarah Ferguson has told Oprah Winfrey how "difficult" it was when she did not receive an invite to the Royal Wedding.
The Duchess Of York was "extremely disappointed" not to attend one of the biggest events of the decade and she opened her heart up to Winfrey on the latter's prime time chat show.
"Not being able to go to such an occasion with my daughters was very hard to take.
"I had picked out my outfit in anticipation of receiving an invite and I was devastated when it never came.
"I had a mini web cam fitted in my peacock feathered hat so I could record the whole day for subsequent selling on to the highest bidder.
"I was going to attach a microchip to Prince William's hairpiece so all the romantic goings on could be transmitted live on my website.
"And I also planned to record all of the Duke of Edinburgh's ramblings to see if he could break his record of insulting 21 heads of state in one afternoon".
The Duchess also admitted that, as a result of the non attendance, she will have to scale down her holidays this year.
"I doubt I'll only be getting away every other month this year", she said dolefully.