Written by grimbo
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Tuesday, 10 May 2011

image for Scots Tory Leader Goldie To Resign

Scots Tories' leader Annabel Goldie has become the third party leader to resign in the wake of the SNP's comprehensive election win last week.

Goldie joined Labour's Iain Gray and the Lib Dems' Tavish Scott in announcing her resignation following her party's poor display.

"If you think I'm going to try and compete with that lot for another 5 years, you've got another thing coming", a frustrated Goldie told a packed press conference this afternoon.

"I've never been one to chase lost causes and I'm not about to start now.

If we three minority parties getting together can't stop these nutters, what's the feckin' point", a clearly frustrated Goldie said.

"The prospect of getting the Peter Criss taken out of me by that Salmond chap for the next 5 years doesn't really appeal.

I'd far rather spend the next wee while recharging my batteries.

I'm going to go home to my wee butt and ben in Bishopton and spend the next few months chilling out and making my famous gooseberry jelly".

So far, nobody has put their name in the frame to replace her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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