Written by j.w.
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Topics: Protest, Sheffield

Sunday, 8 May 2011

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Was the Referendum neck and nick?

Allegatons of vote rigging at the AV Referendum are beginning to emerge as several people with the job of watching out for corruption have woken up.

In Sheffield protests led by angry students pointed to sacks of uncounted votes found in local toilets. 'We thought these bags were for taking to the rubbish dump' said one intrepid investigator 'but when we sniffed the bags we smelt a rat. We were right it jumped out of a bag chewing ballot papers that all said yea to AV.'

Vast numbers of students, suspecting that their hero Nick Clegg had been deprived of a justified victory, amassed in the centre of Sheffield and broke into a number of Banks where more uncounted 'Yes' votes were found.

BBC political commentator Alan Whitless said this development meant the whole AV referendum would be declared invalid and a re-run would be required.

Several suspicious deaths followed as it was realised that a re-run would mean a further discussion of the merits of differing voting systems.

Prime Minister David Cameron, before commenting asked his secretary: 'First Past the Post, dear.' Having done so the secretary had difficulty calming down as it was appreciated that she would have to hold Cameron's hand for another Referendum.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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