Written by queen mudder

Print this

Saturday, 7 May 2011

image for Cops' strip poker showdown defrocks Beatrice and Eugenie
Flushed out: royal slappers lost the shirts off their backs when a reckless security gamble bombed

London - A Royal Protection Racket cops' straight flush has stripped useless royal slappers Beatrice and Eugenie.

Prince Andrew's molls were caught 'frightening the whorses' and now see their 24/7 bodyguards axed in the austerity cuts.

A radical stir-up of Buckingham Palace casino rules will see the annual £500,000 cost of minding the slags borne by Andrew's dodgy oligarch pals.

The shaikh-up has been dubbed W.H.O.R.S.E - Windsor Texas Hold 'em/Omaha eight or better/Razz/Seven card Stud/Seven card stud Eight or better - as new high end stakes tables replace the existing scam.

Online gaming website Aintgottaprayer.con said today cops had played a blinder with a tactical 'pure nuts' hand.

The site's profile of the 'one-eyed royals' reckons they'd overplayed their hand and would now be 'walking back to Houston' - where Eugenie's birth Pa Jeffrey Epstein headquarters a secret global slush fund.

"Unfortunately there's no getaway money left in the pot," website odds-assessor Dave Mug Punta commented.

"Cops have to finance guarding the new royal whorse Kate Fiddleton and costs could soar when she starts to breed."

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 2?

3 8 2 5
56 readers are online right now!

Go to top