Written by Inhopeless
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Saturday, 7 May 2011

(Published 2015) LONDON - The results of this years UK General Election are in, and a shocking revelation has occurred.

The Conservatives have won power over the United Kingdom of England Wales and Northern Ireland, even though they got over a third of the vote - winning 54% of seats - meaning 66% of people are unrepresented at parliament.

Many have chalked this 'victory' up to the horrifying crushing of the Alternative Vote system in 2011, which the Tories sabotaged with dodgy campaigns.

Labour came second, while the Liberal Democrats, having taken the brunt of the force that was meant for the Tories, have gained fourth - after UKIP.

"If we had voted AV," said one political expert, "Then at least we would know that the government would have to listen to more people. The fact of the matter is, urban areas, including Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool, are Labour areas - and are the concentration of population. The Tories are not listening to a majority, but are listening to people who don't have a clue about the cities."

Obama, the US President, has congratulated Cameron on his 'undeserved win'.

"I won with 57% [of the votes]," he said. "That makes me accountable to over 170mn Americans. I have to listen. This is convoluted. FPTP only works in a dual-party system. You have a multi-party system. Use AV or PR at the least."

The Tories have blocked a bill in the Commons that will allow a referendum on PR, but will most likely not go through because the public are giant idiots and are easily swayed by bullshit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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