Written by Eurocleese De Zouch
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Topics: London Marathon

Friday, 6 May 2011

A man who promised to complete the London Marathon, by licking every inch of it, has finally finished the feet, 4 YEARS after starting.

Arron Pheugh, who was dressed as an effigy of Pol Pot throughout the challenge, finally finished the amazing feet, after spending over 1400 days moistening the street.

One drawback, is that his tongue is now 27 inches long, and he deduces that it may cause him future problems, however, he ruefully admitted that the number of female admirers has grown immeasurably over the couple of months.

Arron, who can now only communicate through the method of dance, as his tongue constantly slaps small children did perform one particular grizzly episode, whereby a dog had vomited in his path.

"It was unavoidable. It was quite milky but it was also coated in a plethora of used Bovril, but you just plough on".

Unfortunately, after a further 4 minutes, Arron is too tired to communicate, and he cannot manage to dance the word "this", so he finally gives up. However, to perk him up, he is instantly told by a limp helper, that he has raised over £1bn for charity, but he then discovers that the money will be used to stop Leicester from being repossessed.

In a final flurry, Arron danced "I want change"...

I hope he gets it too.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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