Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 5 May 2011

image for Toxic Zam Zam water sourced to Bin Laden spring
Miraculous stuff is still available to hydroponics aficionados

Abbottabad - That 'Arab Spring' tagline has taken a bashing amid reports Bin Laden made 'an absolute killing' flogging poisoned water on his Holy Shit! website.

The liquid's supernatural powers had seen it branded the world's top ills' whitewasher - before the presence of Saudi arselick - er...arsenic! - was detected by London environmental health inspectors.

Last month's entire UK consignment has been confiscated bringing the prospect of wholesale bankruptcy to worried retailers everywhere.

"Woe is me I am undone," the frantic owner of the Isle of Dogs Afghan Novelty Shop complained today.

The murky liquid had been the shop's Number 1 best seller ahead of ubiquitous plastic rocks and other lapidation novelties.

Supplies to hydroponics wholesalers remain unaffected.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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