Written by Ellis Ian Fields

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Topics: Zoo, Swearing, Parrot

Thursday, 5 May 2011

image for Parrot Turns Zoo Air Blue
A parrot.

Visitors to a zoo in Devon have been complaining about the foul-mouthed antics of Jasper, a scarlet macaw.

The bird has apparently been hurling abuse at visitors at Darmoor Zoo. He is so loud that he can be heard squawking his obscenities throughout the site, upsetting parents and people with delicate dispositions.

One upset mother, Mrs Beryl Pavement, told us: "I was horrified... I took my eight and five-year-olds and we heard a bird shout, 'F*** off, missus! Show us yer t***! What a c***!'

"The kids thought it was hilarious, but it was very disconcerting - I could hardly answer back, not with the kids there."

Dartmoor's Chief Keeper of Parrots, Mick Pungent, told us: "F*** knows where the f*****g b****** little c*** gets it from. Certainly none of the c***s round here talk to the f***ing a***hole - the f*****g knobhead dick-faced c***s won't even f*****g talk to me for some reason! No f*****g idea why. F*****g miserable sh** c***s!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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