Written by Nick Hobbs
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Wednesday, 4 May 2011

image for Bin Laden Death Pictures Released As Conspiracy Theories Mount
Bin Laden in happier times.

The US Government are under increasing pressure to publish the rumoured photographs of recently killed Al-Qaeda kingpin Osama Bin Laden, as suspicions grow over the true nature of his death.

Molly Bridgend, 57, a local landlady, told us "we want evidence! The world is waiting, you know? If I went around telling people I'd just served Roger Moore in my pub, they'd want proof, not just my word for it!"

The bearded terrorist was shot by men with guns, as he watched highlights of his beloved Manchester United, losing badly to Arsenal, at the weekend.

Widespread cheering, and a sense of elation, spread through the West as news of the murder took hold. But it wasn't long before the nay-sayers began muttering about conspiracies, and an underhanded government cover up.

"Is he really dead?" said one passing onlooker, outside a TV repair shop in the high street, as the news report in the window caught his eye.

"If there's no body, there's no proof," cried another chap.

Terrence Flannigan, head of 'This Looks A Bit Fishy', the online conspiracy theory website and whistleblower, told us "I checked on Wikileaks, and it never said nothing about Bin Laden being dead, and that! So I'm not really too sure."

"It all seems a bit staged to me," he continued, "a bit convenient that Bin Laden was at home when they went in, don't you think? With no guards? And no weapons? And now we're not allowed to see any pictures, 'cause it might cause a backlash? The fact we killed him is OK, just don't print a picture of him dead? It's PC gone mad! What about all the footage of people he killed?"

"And then they say they buried him at sea. Well that just proves it's a fabrication. I'm no bloody scientist, but I do know you can't dig a grave at sea, so someone's pulling our leg!" he finished.

The world waits...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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