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Tuesday, 3 May 2011

image for Fairytale Marriage To Be Annulled - Shock!
The rocked corridors of power pictured here last week

The Royal Family, David Cameron, The people of the quintessentially English and Berkshire village Bucklebury, and that mental bloke who camped out for days on the pavement outside Westminster Abbey last week, have all been left reeling today following the shock news that the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton is to be annulled!

Speaking from a secret location, a royal source, has told the world's press, and HRH The Queen, that something pretty serious happened last week that now leaves the marriage as little more than a sham. Royals were quick to release the following statement.

"The Queen is a bit miffed that this should happen so soon into the young couple's married life, but of course she realizes that the last thing the Monarchy needs now is a scandal, and so reluctantly she has green-lighted the process that could see the happy couple's union sundered as soon as teatime this evening"

The Royal Family, no strangers to controversy in the past, are said to be closing ranks and it's understood that plans are well advanced to send the bill for last week's bash to Kate Middleton's dad. That's one serious headache in store for the party and event-planning mogul that he never expected to have.

Bert Bapps, an old age pensioner and ardent Royalist, was said to be in tears today when he heard the sad news, and he intends to send this week's pension and his entire life-savings to Buckingham Palace as a gesture of goodwill to the stricken monarch and her family. He told reporters:

"Well what can you say like? I'm gutted I am. Straight up like."

Royal watchers everywhere are on red-alert to see how this drama plays out, and will doubtless fill miles of column inches and hours of daytime TV speculating on events until some real information becomes available.

Prince Charles was not answering his mobile last night and the Duke of Edinburgh is reported to be "A bit cheesed-off by the whole thing."

Did you ever have your wedding annulled within days of it having taken place? Well if you did we'd love to know all about it. Just email our news desk and we may be in touch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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