Twenty-five people in the sleepy suburb of Birmingham, a small town near Hinckley, were left bemoaning the loss of their feet after visiting a fish pedicure boutique in the town centre. Dozens more had lost toes, and one had an unintentional gender reassignment after a bet went horribly wrong.
"It wasn't our fault!" bewailed Pedro Currie, the owner of Something Fishy in the small collection of shops known affectionately as the Bull Ring. "I bought those pedicure fish on good faith from Slippery Bob at the Cat On The Fiddle pub."
Unfortunately and unbeknownst to Currie, the fish were not Garra Rufa, or doctor fish. They were piranha.
"I had no idea what doctor fish looked like," said Currie. "And I certainly didn't know what the red bellied piranha looked like!"
A class action suit has been filed on behalf of the fifty people who lost extremities, although the man who lost any chance of future children has shunned publicity, with close friends indicating he is too emotional to go through the horrific events again. Besides, he has developed a sudden interest in scatter cushions.
"I've offered to pay to complete his surgery," said Currie. "It's the least I can do. The most I can do is obviously marry him and support him for the rest of his life. Or should that be her life?"
It is expected that Currie will be struggling financially after the class action is complete, which is expected to be sometime in the next two months.
"I'm pleading ignorance, stupidity and naivety. Plus I will be claiming that the people having fish pedicures are as much to blame for not noticing their feet were being eaten," said Currie. "I mean, they knew they were dipping their calloused toes in a tank full of fish that eat bits of them. They should have paid more attention."