Written by mikewadestr
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Saturday, 30 April 2011

In a real shocker, it was discovered that after trying to consummate the Royal Marriage between Prince William and his new bride, Catherine Middleton, that Middleton was not a woman after all! Just another guy dressed in drag.

A stunned Prince William, apparently stumbled from behind the church's altar at Westminster Abbey, where he and his bride, Kate, attempted to consummate their marriage. Apparently, he and Kate took advantage of the festive atmosphere at the Abbey and decided to do the 'humpty dumpty' behind the Abbey's altar while all the other royals and guests were indulging in similar debauchery on the Abbey floor.

Dressed in a pair of frilly laced thongs and matching bra, the discombobulated Prince William started shouting out: "She is a man!!! She is a man!!!"

Initially, no one heard him over the sound of one of the biggest orgies in modern day history. It wasn't until Prince Charles, who was boinking the Lady Rose Gilman in the fourteenth pew from the altar, looked up and shouted out to Prince William:

"Damn it, you stole those from me! You little twerp! Don't let me catch you going through my underwear dresser drawer, again! Those are my best pair of underwear".

When Queen Elizabeth, who was doing the 'humpty dumpty' with one of the royal chauffeurs, stopped and looked up at Prince William she called out: "You look'in justa gret Wilyam, justa like your pa did on his a wedd'n day".

When asked what really happened, Prince William responded: "When Kate took her clothes off she had a really big wanker on her. I mean, really, really big! When I said, "Damn Kate your thing is not supposed to look like that, she just said: 'Shut up you little twit and come over here and suck your wife's…' Well, you know what I mean".

When he was asked why he did not know this before hand, Prince William answered: "We never had sex before tonight. We made a pact to remain chaste until we were married".

An exasperated Queen Elizabeth cried out in despair: "Why dagnimity? You caint possbly be a one of oursies. No fricken way. Heal! No sex a-fore marriagy? Daaayummm boy, dint your daddy learn you a noffin?"

On the good side, Prince Charles seemed to have no problem with this, as he and Kate slipped behind the altar together during all of the confusion.

Doing what? Is up is up to anybody's imagination.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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