Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 29 April 2011

image for Newlyweds to consummate marriage in Princess Diana Fountain moonlight skinnydip
Under the stars tonight Kate & Wills will do what newlyweds do on their wedding night

London - The pre-nuptial trip to 'lay some flowers' at Diana's Althorp burial mound raised some eyebrows earlier when the dishevelled couple eventually emerged from the Spencer island mausoleum.

Tonight a Buckingham Palace tip-off reckoned the newly elevated Duke and Duchess will consummate their marriage with a skinnydipping dunk in the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain.

The iconic Hype Park water feature has seen countless House of Windsor newborns christened in its crystal healing waters.

And it was Charles and Camilla, apparently, who started the fad for nuptial consummation with their very own post-wedding splash - although being well past the fertility stage.

Last year the Pope said Mass just yards away from the Diana Fountain during his state visit to convert the heathens.

Pictures circulating on the Royal YouBoob! channel suggest that he, too, may have succumbed to a moonlit splosh in the Fountain's legendary depths (all of 2ft3ins).

A tunnel leading directly from Buckingham Palace to the Memorial Fountain has been dubbed Albion's very own Via Dolorosa.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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