London, England-- Massive swarms of gigantic flying cockroaches are ruining the wedding day of Prince William and Kate Middleton. A brown cloud of hissing, Madagascar roaches descended on the wedding party soon after the ceremony began. All the guests are now covered with the filthy pests and the entire day is destroyed.
Entomologists believe the cockroaches came from a Madagascar tug boat, docked in the Thames River. The Madagascar cockroaches are almost 10 centimetres in length with a 20 centimetre wingspan. The bugs are attracted to the colour red, and were probably first attracted by Prince William's red jacket.
The cockroaches soon covered Prince William's red coat, and turned it a shiny, shimmering brown. The prince attempted to swat them away, but it was useless. Hundreds of the disgusting insects also buzzed Prince Harry's red hair, and became hopelessly entangled in the curly mess.
Kate Middleton screamed with disgust and revulsion, as a hissing cockroach flew into her open mouth. She tried covering her face with her wedding veil, but it only made things much worse. Dozens of the Madagascar cockroaches wiggled down her wedding dress all the way to her shoes.
The hissing cockroaches were so loud, it was impossible for the royal couple to say their wedding vows. The ceremony went ahead anyway, and the newlyweds had their first kiss, Unfortunately the giant cockroach that Kate had swallowed was regurgitated. The bug flew into Prince William's mouth, and ruined the kiss.