Written by Waldo Jeffers

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Topics: Protest, british

Wednesday, 8 October 2003

image for Marzipan, the truth.
Marsha, now recovering in the newly founded marzi-rehab clinic.

The long courtroom battle between the national british confectionary consortium and the radical protest group marzibad has ended today.

The legal proceedings came to a close when a spokesperson for the british institute of science confirmed that marzipan is in fact "highly addictive".

For six months a crack team of scientists tested and re-tested the sugary cake coating by feeding it to various animals including Marsha, a phlipino chimp who reportedly got such an appetite for marzipan that she attempted to engage in sexual relations with a janitor in order to obtain the sweet nectar. The janitor was not available for comment but close sources say there was definately an "understanding between the two".

The National British Confectionary Consortium have been ordered to pay a sum of one million pounds which will go towards setting up a clinic specialising in helping recovering addicts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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