In a right royal debacle, Kate Middleton messed up her marriage vows, taking the name of her would-be father-in-law Prince Phillip instead of her fiancé Prince William.
The Archbishop of Canterbury, who was performing the ceremony, continued, hoping nobody had heard the mistake, but, thanks to Prime Minister Dork Cameron's insistence that everyone in the country should watch the wedding on outdoor 50 inch TV sets while attending at street parties, the gaff was spotted by about 60 million people in Britain alone not to mention a few hundred million abroad.
Royal experts have advised that Kate Middleton simply succumbed to the stress she has been under for months, as everything she says and does has been the subject of incessant media reporting on both sides of the Atlantic.
They added that although strictly speaking, Prince Phillip is already married to the Queen and common law doesn't recognise the validity of a second marriage, the laws of bigamy don't apply to the Royal Family. As a result, Kate has now become her fiancé's step grandmother and the Duke of Edinburgh gets an award for acquiring a second wife.
While American tourists were screaming hysterically at the mess, most British were taking it with their usual dry sense of humour. One party goer in London said, sardonically, "It's about time we got a new Queen, the old one has been doing her job for too long."
However, palace insiders say that Queen Elizabeth is spitting fire and has already consulted with lawyers. Although a royal divorce takes on average 10 years and usually results in someone getting killed in a car accident in France, lawyers will advise Her Majesty that there are "other ways". One smarmy git said "If Prince Phillip converts to Islam, he could then divorce Kate by saying 'Talaq' three times. Or he could keep her and marry two more times. The lucky bastard."