Written by j.w.
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

image for Abbey Closed for Wedding
Westminster's Abbey taken over by Satandare

Just when the royal couple Kate and Will had got the Abbey Habit and wanted to start investing some money for their house, they found that Westminter's Abbey Branch had been taken over by Spanish heretics!

Satandare, the company that took over the Abbey, have insisted that before Kate and Will can invest in the company they must be Catholics.

This has put the Royal Household in a quandary.

If Will becomes a Catholic he will never be able to become head of the Church of England and the Archbishop of Canterbury has intimated that he will have 'other plans' for tomorrow, Friday, if Will accepts the Catholic Faith.

Meanwhile another headache has beset those organising the Day of Celebration. The Syrian police force, which has been engaged to keep the crowds in order at the wedding, has already upset some onlookers by shooting randomly from rooftops at anyone thought to be a rebel.

Sun reporter Olive Paine complained that although she was waving a Union Jack she was shot in the backside by a Syrian bullet when getting into position.

Excited royal commentators, who feared they might wet themselves during the ceremonies which could cause unwanted pauses in their description of events, will refrain from drinking for 24 hours before the Wedding to make sure that the world gets a piss free version of events.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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