Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 25 April 2011

image for IRA Thames sub 'to nuke royal nuptials'
Police captured one IRA submarine already although it later turned out to be a beached Wales

London - Wedding invite snubbed members of the IRA are planning a massive attack, worried police sources said today.

And a tip-off reckons they will use a former Colombian coke submersible to attack Westmonster Abbey this Friday.

Royal Navy patrols have been stepped up after a 'leprachaun-green' conning tower was spotted jutting out of the Thames near Canary Wharf last weekend.

"OK, it could have been some used condoms and a bit of seaweed," a patrol source commented, "but we're taking absolutely no chances."

The move follows a vicious turf war between those Provos who have - and have not - got their mitts on the precious Abbey invites.

Last month MI5 foiled a nasty plot to pack semtex up royal horses' arses and blow them up via a remote-controlled laser.

This would have blown up the 1902 State Landau and its cavalry escort of the Booze & Royals.

Under current terror legislation the Met Commissioner can cancel the royal wedding if terror threats escalate beyond the current Red Hot status.

Gerry Adams' has been allocated Abbey front row pew No 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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