Written by ronin47empire
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

image for On Eve of Kate Middleton's Wedding to Prince William: Most Brits Admit They Still Wank off To Henry Tudor
Most British wankers admit Prince Charles is in their league, but even the wankers have their standards

In a quick survey of British citizenry 65% admitted that they still fantasize about Henry Tudor while masturbating. Kate Middleton came in a distant second at 12% followed by the late George III, also known as "Mad" King George.

The survey reported that Britons tend to think about royalty while diddling themselves almost three times as much as the French and twice as much as Americans. This is attributed to the fact that the British regularly fondle the faces of their monarchs on their currency, and the French having killed most of their aristocracy, with the Americans being ambivalent to all monarchs.

The British fetish for Henry Tudor seems to have survived the veritable pageant of average to attractive additions to their royal family over the last few centuries. "Maybe it's something to do with the fact that giving head to Henry Tudor meant something entirely different to his wives," said noted expert AVX Shenoy.

"This Middleton person is not bad looking and has had plenty of press coverage in the last few years with high resolution pictures out there for ease of well, imagination. But, she's been quoted saying she's having naked dreams of herself. How self-indulgent is that? It's very unattractive really. She's probably 3 of that 12% in that survey of yours," continued Shenoy.

"In a significant percentage of the men who jerk off to Henry VIII it was reported that Tudor was the most 'in their league'. It's important to remember that Britain is still a class based society in many ways. Henry Tudor is a fat git. Anyone could 'hit that'. The Prince of Wales is similarly in most people's league, but even the British masturbators have standards."

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