Written by IainB
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

image for Queen makes use of her bus pass
Is this where one catches the 212?

With the news that the Queen has asked the Middletons to help pay for the Royal Wedding, other cost saving measures employed by the monarchy are indicating that all is not well with the Windsor's finances.

In the past few royal engagements it has been noted by royal watcher for the BBC, Nicholas Witchell, that both the Queen and Prince Phillip have been wearing clothes that they have previously worn.

"With Phillip," said Witchell, "it is hard to spot when he's wearing a previously worn suit. They all look very similar anyway. With the Queen it's easy. You keep note of the hats. The Queen is a big hat wearer. Stetsons, bowlers, toppers and crowns, you name it, she's worn it to a royal engagement."

By far the biggest cost saving Liz has been making is in her transport arrangements. The eighty-five year old grandmother has been entitled to a bus pass for quarter of a century, but only in the past few weeks has she begun using her entitlement.

"She's been seen catching the thirty-two from Pall Mall to Camden Market," said Witchell. "In a hat, obviously."

Unfortunately, the bus pass only entitles her to free bus travel, and she cannot use the tube or over-ground trains, even from stations named after her family or body parts, such as Victoria and St Pancreas.

In addition, surprised benefit scroungers espied the leader of the commonwealth popping into Kensington DHS office to arrange to have her pension paid into her account and sort out disability benefit for Prince Phillip.

"She didn't get the disability benefit," said Witchall. "Apparently the DHS have video footage of Phil working. He's been seen shaking people's hands, opening supermarkets and doing a spot of bricklaying."

The Queen was unavailable for comment, as she was queuing for a lottery ticket at Spar.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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