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Saturday, 23 April 2011

image for Royal Wedding Photographers Prepare For Nip Slips, Wardrobe Malfunctions
Could he lift the train of that dress a little higher?

Photographers at the Royal Wedding will be prepared for all things: bad weather, poor lighting, distance shots, etc. They are also, however, preparing for events not generally anticipated, like nip slips and wardrobe malfunctions. Coveted press positions above and at the right angle to the bride (Kate Middleton) during the ceremony have been fought over for weeks, in the event that some lucky shutterbug gets the money shot of a lifetime.

Rumor has it that cash and favors have even changed hands for photographers to get these highly prized locations. Another favorite spot will be curbside when the bride climbs into and out of her carriage as upskirt photos are highly valued.

Clothing disasters such as these have made Paris Hilton and Britney Spears into household names and turned their photographs into screen savers.

Oddsmakers from Monte Carlo to Rio to Las Vegas are placing bets and laying down the over/under on such things as the color and type of Kate Middleton's panties, should there be a wardrobe malfunction. While odds of a wardrobe malfunction or nip slip happening to the bride are only 1 in 8, odds that it will happen to one of the bridesmaids or maid of honor are 1 in 3.

Said one Reno bookie, "we think that some young tart may want to show some skin just to get famous or get her picture flashed all over the world."

Experts also believe that there is a good chance that Pop Singer Shakira, who is reported to be sitting near the Queen by personal invitation, may also try to upstage the ceremony with her own dress disaster. "I wouldn't put it past that skank to have a little bit of nipple showing in the background of the ceremony," said the same bookie, who requested anonymity (but his name is Abel Rodriguez and he works at The Greek Palace Sports Line on Chupababra Avenue). "She also may spread her legs and give us an upskirt photo, with or without panties."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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