Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Saturday, 23 April 2011

image for Royal Wedding reception - but only for Winos!
Plenty of plonk but no beer.

Beer will not be on the menu for guests at next Friday's royal wedding reception at Buckingham Palace. Officially the decision has been taken by William and Kate because they feel it would be too common to have it being served to guests at such a prestigious occasion. However, William's grandparents are also said to have raised concerns about having beer available at a wedding reception where Prince Harry and his mates would be in attendance.

According to my source at Buckingham palace Prince Philip told William that if he intended to have beer at the reception then he'd better also make arrangements to have a couple of hundred buckets strategically placed around the palace's 19 state rooms. The buckets should be placed where the guests would be mingling so that the youngsters could hopefully reach one of them to throw up in rather than have them spewing up all over the expensive carpets to leave the whole place stinking of stale beer for the summer.

Guests arriving at Buckingham palace will have to go through an American style TSA pat-down search before being allowed to enter through the gates next Friday. Any cans or bottles of beer found on guests trying to smuggle them in will be confiscated and then sent by taxi to one of the peasant street parties also taking place in the capital.

Kate is very happy with the decision to ban beer from the reception - she thinks it is far too fattening anyway!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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