The Trillion Dollar Conman has struck again and this time he has chosen a national treasure as his victim. This target was quite a challenge to the conman because he had heard on the footballing grapevine that this particular character had never knowingly ever been parted with his cash before.
But Russell was absolutely determined to tap Alex Ferguson's fantastic fortune so he set a very cunning trap. He tied a £10 note to a very long piece of string outside Fergie's house, and slowly pulled it along the street. Fergie gave chase and he chased the £10 note for 2 miles to the place where the chase ended. That place was a hole in the wall cash machine on a deserted street in Manchester.
From a safe distance Russell King pressed a button, which activated a pre-recorded message attached to the cash machine, and the message was:
"I am the manager of this bank and I am here to tell you that this bank will go out of business at the stroke of midnight. I'm only telling you this because I am a big Manchester United fan and don't want you to lose all of your money. Love You Fergie. You're the man"
Fergie immediately withdrew his entire fortune of 20 million pounds from the cash machine. But just as he was bending over to pick up the original ten pound note that was still attached to its string on the ground, Mr King jumps out from his hiding place. He hits Fergie over the head with a giant inflatable Pirate Ship, and then runs away with all of Fergie's cash.
The people of Manchester were horrified and they tracked Mr King to the airport where he was hoping to make a quick getaway to Saudi Arabia. But his plans were thwarted when a group of Manchester United fans made a citizens arrest.
Whilst being questioned at the Police station, Mr King was asked about why he'd used a giant inflatable pirate ship as the weapon that dealt the final blow to Fergie's finances.
He replied simply "First rule of business. You have to maintain the element of surprise. Everyone is ready and waiting to be hit on the head by a Pirate sword, but no one could ever imagine that they'd be hit on the head with a pirate ship."
Those very wise words from Mr King prompted the police to make a telephone call. They phoned David Cameron and said "We think we've found you a like minded friend. He could be the man to save our economy"
Mr King was released to carry on his dodgy business as usual. No one knows where he's gone, but the Manchester Police have warned everyone to be on the look-out for giant inflatable pirate ships.
By Katarina Frogpond.