The oldest man in the world was an American and now he's dead, his name was Walter (RIP) and his secret of longevity was sex!
After his wife died in 1957 he vowed never to have sex again and practiced celibacy.
But never envisaging that he would live so long he decided to take up sex at the young (?) old age of 85 once more, feeling that he had shown enough respect to his wife.
Walter was a bit of a flirt and had no problem wooing women into bed, in fact they loved it because Walter was a bit nifty around the parts for an old codger.
Another secret what Walter had was only eating twice a day, that kept him nice and lean, fit and full of vitality (and viagra now and then).
He reached the ripe old age of 114 (sacramento!!!) and would have lived much longer, but his appetite for a bit of slap and tickle caught up with him unfortunately.
So all of you ageing old farts, have sex, sex and more sex and maybe you can do a Walter too!
The writer of this spoof is also getting past it gradually, but has promised never to give up the most important thing in life......... no, not sex with the missus, booze!!!