An educated Scotsman has taken to burrowing himself away in his quiet office on the shores of the River Forth in Scotland.
He reads and rereads every Tory speech of the past year and delights in hearing his young children reciting the Tory fairytale he has taught them to recite.
He smiles as the boys launch into, "£120 million pounds a day in interest, the biggest peacetime deficit in the western world aha!!"
Then he carries on completing his job application form for the position of the Head of the International Monetary Fund. This is in the bag, he thinks to himself, then those Tory bastards better be prepared for my onslaught.
Gordon Brown, our previous Glorious Leader, has maintained his silence through many months of taunting and posturing by Cameron, Osborne and their gang of Tory boys and girls.
If, as expected, the current Head of the IMF, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, resigns to fight for the French Presidency, our former Glorious Leader is seen as favourite for the big job.
He is not without backers across the Atlantic, but Tories in the UK, led by Osborne are lining up to oppose Brown. Their hatred for the former Prime Minister knows no limits and who can blame them for feeling slightly pissed off?
This could be the revenge of all time as Brown is sure to piss on any Tory Economic Policy. Osborne, will, of course, oppose Brown, After all he and fellow bully in chief Flashman Dave are not ready for the tables to be turned on them by our Gordon.
Never mind, George and Dave he may take your nemisis Balls with him as an adviser.
Balls will shit on the Tory boys from a great height.
Then there will be a space in the Shadow Cabinet for David Milliband. Sounds like an even better idea, thinks Gordon.
You didn't see that coming, Dave, did you?