Statisticians working on the 2011 UK Census are close to releasing the first findings from the latest national survey.
Although officers are now out on the streets chasing up unreturned forms, millions have been returned or filed online - and it is the questionaires returned by post that have provided the first information.
Passports, birth certificates and even a picture of the queen have been included with many returned census forms. Other items sent in have included credit cards, cheques, sets of deeds, family photos and a driving licence application form
The Office for National statistics is returning the unwanted documents where possible while appealing for people not to send in extra documentation.
Said a spokesman: "There is nowhere on the form that suggests people need to include extra documents so we would say, 'please just return the form, nothing else.'
"However, it does give us an early picture of just how many citizens are stupid, thick planks. Obviously we shall have the final figure when all the forms have been collected from the lazy gits who wait for the officers to come and collect them, but we will be pleased to make an early announcement."