Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Print this
Topics: Driving, Roads, Madness

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for Motorists "Delusional" Claim Engineers

A third of motorists are happy with the state of Britain's roads, a survey has revealed.

The figure of 32 per cent is down from 64 per cent who were happy with the roads when the survey began in 2008.

Carried out by the Institute of Civil Engineers, the survey finds that most people's complaints concern the number of potholes.

Said an Institute spokesman: "We are very happy that these figures are falling so rapidly. Anyone who finds Britain's roads acceptable is clearly delusional.

"Every year we hand the findings of our survey to the Institute of Brain Shrinkers when we meet up at the Top Institutes' Christmas Party (the kids love it!). They then go out and try to sort out the heads of the drivers who think the roads are OK.

"Once these poor souls regain their sanity, the state of the roads dawns on them and they rejoin reality.

"As the figures attest, our collaboration is working rather well. It should only be a couple of years before we get the figure down to the absolute minimum.

"Obviously there are some nutters out there who will always swim against the tide, claiming the roads are just fine and clearly they shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel. But that's someone else's problem."

Make Ellis Ian Fields's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

4 25 12 9
173 readers are online right now!

Go to top