Written by Rodd Justice
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Topics: Kids, Baby

Sunday, 5 October 2003

image for Baby Busts Cap in His Momma's Ass
Don't touch me mutha!

Gang culture invaded the crèche today as a two year old child shot his mum in retribution for humiliatingly changing his Huggies pull-ups in front of other kids.

The child, who goes by the street name of AK-47 Jr., is believed to have been drawn into the underground gang network that has made the crèche a no-go area for many parents.

The tragic chain of events began at 10.15am this morning in Telford, when AK-47 Jr. was kicking it with his crew at the crèche. His mother took him from the group and changed his nappy in full view of his posse - tantamount a serious dissing.

Fifteen minutes later, three babies on a tricycle fired shots as she stood on the pavement. The tricycle sped off at over 3mph, leaving a scene of chaos, with screams of terror from the public, blood on the floor and numerous toddlers wetting themselves.

Police said last night they were investigating the incident, although they denied that the babies were out of control. "We'll get these babies one day," said a guy in a uniform.

Psychologists have blamed the music industry for the current wave of gang culture in the kids. Angry nursery rhymes are said to be to blame. However, the babies say that ‘Jack and Jill went up the hill to sell some crack' is just a representation of what's going down in playschools all over the country.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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