Accusations that a food processor bearing the Gordon Ramsay name is "crap" have been refuted by sources close to the fiery chef.
Consumer magazine Whatever? tested 46 models and found the Ramsay mixer - costing £85 - scored the lowest. The chief criticism was that blades fitted poorly.
"What a duffer!" The report, published this week, reads. "Still, what can you expect from the sweary Scots git?
"We won't beat about the bush. This is 85 quid's worth of plastic rubbish."
However, a Ramsay insider told us: "This is going to court, as we have solid evidence that this is a fit-up job by that Marco Pierre Black - it's a pretty cutthroat market.
"Anyway, we have it on good authority that someone got a cheap piece of no-name rubbish and wrote Gordon's name on it in magic marker and replaced the real thing with it.
"We've a pretty good idea who it was too and when we find him we're going to... well, he'd better look out, that's all."