Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 11 April 2011

image for 'Brave' Kate Middleton only chucking up twice a day now
From the family album

London - Anorexic trainwreck Kate Middleton is following in Princess Diana's footsteps with a carefully choreographed decline in her daily vomiting regimen ahead of the Big Day.

Royal wedding watch pals say the need to binge/purge only grabs her after a whiff of Camilla's perfume, reportedly an Eau-de-Cologne named 'Colonel's Delight' after her first husband Muammar.

Sick-as-a-parrot Kate apparently recovered pretty quickly after losing a packet on Saturday's Grand National.

She'd backed ex-shag and amateur National Hunt jockey Sam Waley-Cohen to win on disappointing second Oscar Time.

He came second - much like in a previous, unrelated encounter with Kate in 2008.

Middleton has denied being a closet chuckker-upper despite a skeletal frame and gaunt faecal - er, facial! - shadows.

But the last time she managed to keep three square meals down is shrouded in the mists of hystery.

"William's getting a daily foretaste of what morning sickness might be like," celebwatch site LA FagHagSlagMag sources commented today.

"Only, like with Diana, it's a gestation spin-off that never stops."

Chelsy Davey is sick as a parrot.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 5?

9 5 8 7
70 readers are online right now!

Go to top