London - "Utter bollox!" is how sources close to the Cabinet Orifice described it today.
The response comes as a conspiracy theory website threatens to publish DNA data 'that has held four consecutive British Prime Monsters to ransom'.
"We're not just talking about the sheer volume of Cherie's liposuctioned arse lard clogging up London's drains, either," a bullish TinFoilHattersAnonymous.com editorial says this week.
"We're talking major - er, Sir John Major! - cover-up, denial, obfuscation, disinformation...And what-have-you.
"It's time the British electorate knew the fetid facts."
The website reckons the Camerons' Spanish jolly last week 'belies a grim cover-up' about what UK media last week called a 'f***ing national disgrace'.
This refers to an unsupervised lads' holiday taken by child murder parolee Robert Thompson 'somewhere on the Costa Del Sol' which may now have become the prime source of an attempt to blackmail the UK government.
So were the Camerons really on a personal mercy mission to 'iron out some Spanish blabbermouth' threatening to blow the whistle?
The website's tip-off is thought to be linked to one of the Sunday red tops embroiled in the News of the Screws phone hacking saga.
"The suggestion that the Thompson/Venables parolees want a thick wad to cash to stop A Fragrant Lady's reputation going down the swanee is, frankly, preposterous," a Ministry of Justice spokesperson said today.
Only one of Dame Norma Major's tattoos can reveal the exact 29-digit sequence of an offshore account number to which the dosh is payable.
An internal probe or MRI scan might just be able to access the numerology of it all.