Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Russell Brand

Monday, 11 April 2011

image for Russell Brand Caught At Heathrow Airport With A Dozen Counterfeit Danish Girlie Magazines
One of the photos in the countefeit Danish girlie magazine. (Photo courtesy of Troy Middlewindsor).

LONDON - Russell Brand who is still considered somewhat of a newlywed was detained at London's Heathrow Airport when airport security checked his luggage and found a dozen counterfeit Danish girlie magazines.

At first Brand denied that the magazines were his but when shown that the magazines were hidden in a pair of his Robin Hood Brand Boxer Shorts he had to fess up and admit that the publications were in fact his.

He told one of the guards identified as Troy "Bubblegum" Middlewindsor that he had actually purchased the magazines to give to Simon Cowell.

Middlewindsor responded by asking him who the 'ell Simon Cowell was.

When told that he was the bloke that had once dated Pixie Lott and was now engaged to Afghani freedom fighter Mezhgan Hussainy Middlewindsor responded with an "I see."

Brand was asked if he knew that the magazine's were actually counterfeit. He replied that he did not know and asked how in the world they knew that they were counterfeit.

Middlewindsor turned to one of the pages and pointed out that all counterfeit girlie magazines have a yellowish tint to the glossy pages which makes the girls appear to be oriental except for the fact that they are blonde, tall, and have larger than normal puppies.

Brand was told that he had two choices he could toss all of the magazines into the airport security trash can or he could be arrested for attempting to bring counterfeit Danish girlie magazines into the country.

Russell instantly responded that he had decided to take option number one.

He immediately autographed Middlewindsor's left shirt sleeve and he gave him a copy of Katy Perry's latest CD. And then just like Jack be nimble he quickly went on his merry olde way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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