Written by Lex Raven.
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Topics: Sex, licence

Friday, 8 April 2011

Early this morning British Prime Minister, David Cameron has passed a law saying that everyone of the ages 16 to 65 must possess a licence to have sex.

As part of a new government initiative to promote health and safety when having sex, the licence shall only be granted to those aged 16 to 65. anyone who has had a history of sexual transmitted diseases or currently has a sexual transmitted disease whether hereditary or contracted by other means are not permitted to apply.

When asked to comment about the law, Mr. David's secretary Mr Jason Nodick told this reporter, "Anyone who is caught having sex and does not have a licence could be fined up to 1000 pounds for the first offence and given a warning. If continually caught engaging in clearly sexual activities then castration and sewing up of female genitalia is a proposed punishment.

The law has been received with mixed feelings from the general public.
'I think it's awful' says Mrs Alice Frankfurter, who has been married for 5 years. 'I shouldn't need a piece of paper just to engage in activities that are an integral part of married life.' She tells us.

Meanwhile, Mr. S. Penisevy says, 'I support this law whole heartedly. There are too many men and women clogging up the hospitals because they've contracted some sexually transmitted diseases and as the law does not permit those parasites of society to be given a licence it will free up health care facilities for other more important needs of the populous'.

The British Prime Minister has called a press conference on the 15th of April and there will be a follow up to this article coming soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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