In a shameful display of guttersnipe journalism at the very nadir of good taste - there are certain dirty minded bastards who have started to question who good Prince Harry's real father is.
The problem has arisen since brothers, Harry and William, to all intents and purposes appear to be following a slightly different genetic blueprint.
The main bone of contention appears to be that Harry isn't quite bald yet, whereas his dad and his older brother are well on the way.
Here at Skoob News International we find such speculation utterly abhorrent, offensive, and disrespectful towards the cherished memory of the People's Princess.
The one what got offed in a tunnel in Paris.
After frolicking in the Mediterranean sunshine with a muslim bloke, whose dad owned a market stall in Knightsbridge and a few hotels. And some yachts. And a football club. Not to mention a Michael Jackson statue.
Anyway, it's just wrong to cast unfounded aspersions.
When you really look at him, Prince Harry doesn't look like the Hewitt chap, or Will Carling, or Paul Burrell, or Dodi Al Fayed, or Simon Le Bon, or that fitness trainer down the gym on the Kings Road, or any of them when you really think about it.
So, in the final, reasonable analysis, Prince Harry really is Prince William's blood brother, Prince Charles is really the daddy, and Camilla is probably the birth mother of Becky out of Coronation Street.
So let us all rejoice! We have a bank holiday, a right Royal wedding, and a weekend on the piss to look forward to.
It could be a whole lot worse...
We could have Nick Clegg promising no NHS cuts...
He didn't did he...
More if this reporter isn't found dead in a big zip up suitcase.