David Cameron has announced that 'unbreakable Bond' is back to sort out the relationships between Britain and Pakistan.
Bond's job is to 'patch up relations' between the two countries after Cameron described Pakistan as the seedbed of Terrorism. Bond's first job will be to dismantle the nuclear facilities in Pakistan and get them somewhere safe.
Several places have been suggested - Ivory Coast, Libya, Zimbabwe - all places where Bond has known action. But, after discussions with American Generals the perfect solution has been found - Northern Ireland where Peace is in the Process of taking shape. A large hole in Belfast is being dug to secrete Pakistan's weapons where they will be out of harm's way.
Bond's daring plan is to use a Third Force in the world - GRUNGE - as an ally. Previously a hated enemy GRUNGE has been offered unlimited supplies of oil for transporting Pakistans nuclear facilities in secret to Belfast.
After this escapade it is hoped Cameron will not put his foot in Pakistan's crotch again. A diplomatic incident has developed however after Cameron congratulated Pakistan on winning the Cricket World Cup. 'I'm glad to see you have now learnt how to play the game' piped Cameron 'at Eton we were famous for our cricket. I wonder when it will be safe enough to play cricket against you in Pakistan? I hope you will have learnt not to fiddle games for the bookies by then!'