London - "Someone's got to pay for the bridesmaids' tiaras!" was the feeble excuse from Prince Harry's equerry as news of the Household Cavalry's missing silver stash hit the headlines.
More than £360,000-worth of ceremonial plate from the regiment's Knightsbridge HQ was apparently discovered under the royal hideyhole mattress.
Items reported include a £25,000 figurine of the late Queen Mother sitting astride a Blues & Royals ceremonial steed nicknamed Rudolf Hess, a £16,000 snuffbox (plus five grandsworth of white powder contents), a £5,000 salver, a full set of 18th century gold-plated body armour, helmets, spears, breastplates and a George III hallmarked loving cup that Princess Diana used to keep her teeth in at night.
A Royal Protection Racket police source said today a similar scam had been uncovered when Charles married Camilla back in 2005.
"Except that the breastplates were all size 44FF and not flatchested like today's recovered haul."
Chelsy Davey is 69.