Written by Eurocleese De Zouch
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Topics: Gloucester

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

In a reaction to Mohammed Al Fayed's Michael Jackson statue outside Fulham FC's Craven Cottage, Gloucester city councillors have voted to approve a statue of mass murderer Fred West.

West, who killed himself to death in prison in 1995 whilst being on remand, won a poll amongst famous Gloucestonians. He thrashed Hubert Cecil Booth (inventor of the Vacuum Cleaner) by 45 clear votes. A pickled egg which looked like Terry Butcher came a distant third.

In a press conference, councillor Basil Oswest said "he's certainly an interesting choice, but we'll make a good job of it..."

"Themes? None specific yet, but we're think of Fred lifting up a couple of patio slabs...If that can be replicated in bronze, we'll be on to a winner"....

"We're not sure where to put it, but let's just say that we're ruling nothing out. One option is to have it tour the city on a trailer on the back of a push bike".

When asked, local residents were non plussed by the vote, although a number did suggest a plinth with a mould of chef Gary Rhodes's face standing proud would have been a better choice and one even suggested a small boy, but we're wondering if that was just a cry for help.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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