Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Thursday, 31 March 2011

image for Eddie Stobart Kicks the Truck
One of Eddie's special "blurred" trucks, very popular with the spotters

Truck-spotters will be in mourning today after hearing that Eddie Stobart, the transport magnate, has died.

The Official Truck Spotting Club has said they will observe an hour's silence this Sunday to coincide with his funeral. They were originally planning to hold a minute's silence, but none of the members had anything better to do for the rest of the day.

Eddie's funeral will be a lavish affair. He will lie "in state" in a Transit van to symbolise his transition to the next world. Then he will be cremated in the engine of an 18 wheel truck, before having his ashes scattered along the M1, the M6, the M25 and at various service stations around the country.

At his funeral, many transport-themed songs will be played, including:

"Long-haul Lover From Liverpool"

"Gimme Gimme Gimme A Van (After Midnight)"

"While My Radiator Gently Leaks"

"Diesel Inferno"

"Three Little Chefs"

"Convoy Bloody Convoy"

"The House of the Rising Fuel Prices"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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