Tony Blair has announced today that he will bow down as leader of the Labour Party and stretch his legs outside the leadership crown bending over to Gordon Brown in an uncontested leadership change designed to avoid any further splits in the Labour Party leadership fabric. Tony Blair was expected to hang onto the hem of the government office skirt until the next election but today, Tony Blair announced "I must respect the stirrings underneath Gordon Brown's outer cloth of calm and allow him to respect and satisfy his inner needs with much greater exposure to the public eye as well as let him openly show his heavyweight tackle for the benefit of this government."
The amicable Labour Party Conference Pink Room Breakfast Bar meeting is famous for defrocking the dogma of Labour Party politics and turning turgid sticking points into clean winning streaks for the Labour Party politicians and their followers. Gordon Brown's keynote speech to the Labour Party conference had two major goals, the first was to effectively transgress into a position of change that made him obviously look like Tony Blair's naturally flexible gender and successor achieved by coming out in public that he would neither shift the centre ground left, right or Labour feminist stance nor trends when he became prime minister.
However, Gordon Brown's next statement during the keynote speech was more aggressive than his feminist side suggested when he stated "I have no other secret desire greater than to see Tony Blair lift up his government cloak of office and let him show himself to me really as he is outside the vestibules of party politics and frolic's." The chancellor has already signed off a new manifesto committing him to a new wave of reform in faith self healing (cost reduction in the health service) and effective education in self fulfilment and personnel development. He declared "We are the first mainstream party to represent the needs and urges of most yet accommodate all the variations of tendencies within every Laborite voter." He went further, "Not only will this Labour government proceed with the enhanced nationwide widescreen digital penny slot ‘What the butler saw' Super Casino's as well as 24 hour binge and vomit drinking, we will introduce legislation forcing the bulk of British employees to participate in weekly cross dressing exercises to cast out the stigma associated with voting for the Labour lies involved with WMDs (Worst Male Dress Sense)."
Under the new manifesto, heterosexuality would still be allowed and legal in the privacy of the home but yesterday, Mr Brown was more verbally explicit about his commitment to re-form the British government policies and tolerance to his needs for reform and create encouraging cross changes in mainstream Britain, "We must dominate it and show we are the best dressed non-linear European politicians," he said, and insisted that Labour must be "the voice and appearance representing the force for mainstream majority behavioural change in internal domestic policies demonstrating in public the image of the future for European and International politics."
In the past, Mr Brown's fury at Mr Blair's unwillingness to quit his behaviour and position even exposed the resulting squabbling bubbling froth all over the normally tightly closed energetically vibrating outer cover of the Labour party's politically pinker than white lies washing machine, but yet now, Mr Brown's ability to assimilate and partially copy the Blair behavioural image whilst revealing his own explicit tastes and preferences for change and exchange is expected to confirm the permanent transition of Chancellor Gordon Brown into Tony Blair's Premiership pole position by finally pushing him away both gently and firmly into an alternative direction leading to the final end of Brown's secondary role of always taking Blair's leadership from behind for all those government years.