Written by dutch
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Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Jennifer Lopez has admitted that she has 'no idea' whom Cheryl Cole is but is 'willing to learn'. The Latin beauty has been hosting a rival talent show to the US X-Factor and doesn't have a clue who Cheryl is.

It would appear that no one in the US has a clue as to 'Who Cheryl Is' and that no one is able to recognise her.

Simon has done market research and has found that the Geordie beauty has an incredibly 'low' profile in the US.

Nothing now can be done to raise her profile as time is running out for the candidates for the US X-Factor judges panel. The celebrities being considered for this gig is a closely guarded secret.

It has however been leaked by Derek Hough's step-dad that Cheryl has been rejected. An inconsolable Cheryl has been in tears and was in tears for the whole of the 12 hour flight back to the UK.

She has not managed to make any new pals in the US apart from Will-i-am who fancies her and has mentored little 'pop wannabe' Cher Lloyd.

The American Dream is over for Cheryl and the Brits don't want her back again either and say they are 'sick and tired of her whining'.

Cheryl can not believe that the average American has no idea who she is and believes it is a conspiracy to do her out of her job. She has no idea that the average US person has more to worry about who will be on a talent show as a judge.

Most Americans would favour a big name such as Zac Efron, Miley Cyrus or Justin Timberlake. When questioned a lot of people said, "Cheryl Cole who is that girl we totally don't 'get' it dude".

Simon Cowell has 'totally' messed up and he has alienated the US who see him as a 'total dork' who is not able to organise his 'freaking show'.

Make dutch's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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