Berkshire - Kate Middleton's ghastly social climber mother is off the largactil and straight back on second generation atypical antypsychotic StollyBollys.
Prince Charles' highly recommened Dodgy Originals nux vomica pillules washed down with an ice cold chardonnay mouthwash first thing in the morning and sprightly Carole's off with the fairies once again.
Last week she told the landlord of The Spreadeagled Airhostess local pub that he was lowering the tone of the area with his naff royal wedding bunting.
And High Street butcher Georgie 'The Mad Axeman' Perkins was served with a writ ordering the immediate removal of a royal 'Kiss Me Kate' sticker from an 80lb pink sow gracing his refrigerated window display.
"Carole thinks she's the bees knees," Bucklebury podiatrist Mrs Rita Savage told a Wiltshire Busy Body Times reporter this afternoon, "but the woman is absolutely barking.
"As for her husband Michael Middleton he is an extraordinary facial double for convicted mass murderer Peter Tobin - as anyone who saw last month's police Crimebotch appeal will tell you.
"Time to send in the bulldozers into Kate's family back garden, eh?
"That would bring the daft old Middletons down a notch or two."