Written by Joe Leff
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Monday, 28 March 2011

The Rev. Hugh Dunnett, Vicar of St Michael's Church in Wharfedale, was distressed to learn about another act of suspected vandalism.

Workman checking out the tower noticed that the lead was missing.

"It had been up there on the roof for years," said the vicar. "How it got there in the first place we never knew. But we're sorry it's gone. People used to comment on it."

But three days later, the lead was spotted near Linton Falls - on a black Labrador being led by Nigel Brown. Mr Brown (52) of Hebden, claimed that he spotted the leather lead hanging over one of the headstones in the graveyard shortly after the recent gales.

"I've been looking for a stronger lead," said Mr Brown, "now that Rover's getting bigger."

Local police in Grassington are checking recent weather records to see whether they might substantiate Mr Brown's story. "If not," said P.C. Dibdob, we'll have to investigate further. It's an unusual case - and as yet we haven't got any other leads to follow up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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