It has been announced tonight by a leading London Statistics Company that Britain's singing sensation Adele is now even bigger than Madonna. They also went on to say they believe she will continue to be huge for the forseeable future.
Her record sales may not have outsold Madonna the megastar just yet, but at a secret meeting, held behind closed doors (slightly reminiscent of a boxing championship weigh-in), Adele easily beat Madonna to be the heavyweight champion of the singing world.
Madonna was gutted. She isn't used to being beaten at anything and she immediately went to the dough-nut shop and bought 10 boxes of extra extra calorific circles of delight. She said it was a humiliating defeat because she has always been one-step ahead of the fashion trends and now it seems she is 50 steps behind.
That's because "Big" is now the new Chic, and has been hailed as the look for 2011. The skinny look is no longer acceptable and fashion magazines have been turning their backs on Waif like models like Kate Moss in favour of bigger models like Miranda Hart.
The world has finally woken up to the truth. Big is beautiful and there's nothing the skinnies can do about it, except head for the same dough-nut shop that Madonna did.