Written by grimbo
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Topics: cheese, Gloucester

Saturday, 26 March 2011

image for Cheese Rolling Contest Cancelled

The world famous Gloucester cheese rolling competition held at Cooper's Hill, Brockworth has been cancelled for the second year in a row after organisers received threat of violence.

The event, which was cancelled in 2010 on health and safety grounds, caused furore this year after organisers announced that admission to the event would cost £20.

The cover charge was introduced in an attempt to keep the numbers down as demand in 2010 was such that the expected crowd of 15,000 could not have been controlled properly.

Organising chairman Richard Jefferies told the world's media that news of the admission charge had provoked a barrage of criticism from all parties.

"Members of the organising committee have been the subjects of hate mail.

One of the letters threatened that our secretary Arnold Bumpnecker would get concrete poured in his wellington boots. Not only would this act of vandalism have posed significant physical challenges to Arnold in terms of reducing his mobility, but it would have left deep psychological scars on him as his wellies are an integral part of who he is and to a great extent define the man.

Another one of our committee, Cedric Partingcobbler, was warned that the straw that sticks out of the side of his mouth would be contaminated with pepper so he sneezed continuously and would look really stupid.

We really couldn't take the chance of any of these dire threats being carried out, so reluctantly we took the decision to cancel this year's event".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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