Written by mattymc13
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Friday, 25 March 2011

image for Man Rebuilds Berlin Wall in Bracknell

A man has attempted to rebuild the Berlin Wall in the heart of the town of Bracknell.

Neo-Nazi Dave Bell, 63, insists everybody on the east side of Bracknell should support the newly built wall because it will "prevent the westies using our laundrette."

Dave remarked, "there's always a queue. I was waiting over twenty minutes to dry my pants last weekend. So I thought...'why not build a wall?'"

Unfortunately for Dave, the wall hasn't turned out to be as successful as planned. After he pitched his idea to Bracknell Council, they discovered he didn't occupy a brick-laying license, which is compulsory in the town when attempting to build a wall of any kind. So instead of stacking bricks, Dave has spent five consecutive nights laying out one straight row that is four miles long, but no more than five inches tall.

"It's not having the desired effect", explained Dave. "I had to wait for over forty minutes to wash my socks earlier."

The wall has also forced irate fish & chip shop owner Bob Page to knock part of it down after he wandered in yesterday morning to find the path of the wall ran directly through his chip fryer.

"I accepted the wall for most of the day, until my valued customers started complaining of pieces of red ceramic in their food. That really was the last straw".

And Mr. Bell will have to appear in court charged with manslaughter after 96 year old Doris May tripped over one of the bricks on her way to the post office. She landed in a heap on the floor, breaking her neck in the process.

"That wasn't part of the plan" insisted Bell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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