Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 24 March 2011

image for Russell Brand and Katy Perry Deny That There Is Trouble In "Hairadise"
Katy Perry-Brand relaxing in the pool at the home of Prince Harry. (Photo courtesy of Prince William).

LONDON - Mr. and Mrs. Russell Brand have just celebrated their five month marriage and some individuals who are close to the two stars say that to use an old Cleveland cliché, 'the honeymoon is over.'

One unnamed friend of the couple, who spoke on grounds of anonymity, stated that she has seen some tell tale signs that are very telling and tell a tale of a couple that although still quite happy is not 100 percent happy.

She pointed to two signs regarding food. The first is that Russell loves pomegranate crumpets and Katy simply abhors them and will sit and make faces and stick her finger down her mouth whenever Russell is eating one.

The second difference is that Rusty, as three of his favorite ex-girlfriends call him, said that he loves his hamburgers to be fully cooked, whereas Katy likes them to be as pink as can be.

Russell reportedly once embarrassed Katy at a barbecue that Queen Elizabeth threw for them at Buckingham Palace by saying to the queen that he hates to eat hamburgers with Katy because he cannot stand the constant incessant mooing

Katy laughed politely but in the limo on the way home she allegedly told Russell that if he ever embarrassed her in front of her Royal Highness again she was going to reveal to her that while they visited Buckingham Palace he (RB) had stolen a pair of the Queen's Official Queen Elizabeth II Commemorative Knickers.

Famed London hair stylist Reginald "Frisky" Friskingham, who does the hair of some of England's most noted notables such as Simon Cowell, Kate Middleton, Didier Drogba, Queen Elizabeth, Pixie Lott, and Prince Harry stated to Ta Ta For Now News that the last time that Mr. and Mrs. Brand were in his salon, which is located two blocks from Scotland Yard, he noticed that the two were upset about something.

After Katy got up to go to the restroom, he asked Rusty what was wrong with his bride. He giggled and said that she was just upset because she had read in The London Daily Hand Held Mirror that he (RB) had told Dannii Minogue's husband, ex-professional rugby player Chris "The Loch Ness Monster" Smith that he had once slept with 90 women in one month.

Frisky became all excited and asked him if that was in fact true. And Rusty replied that of course it was and he took out a black book and was able to show him the names of 19 of the girls before he put the book away when he saw Katy returning from the restroom.

After the couple left, Frisky informed TTFNN's Chatsworth Wiggonholt that Russell and Katy got into a fight over their hairdo's. She told him that he wanted for him to cut his hair so that it would be shorter than hers.

He told her that he wanted for her to grow her hair out so that it would be longer than his.

Katy then angrily remarked that her groin region was going to be 'off-limits' for three days. He replied that it was fine with him and that he would just have to make do.

Frisky said that when Rusty made that remark he winked at him and touched the pocket of his pants where he had placed his black book.

As the couple stood up to leave the salon they both stressed to Frisky that no matter how the situation may look there is no trouble in "Hairadise."

Reginald Friskingham has dispelled the vicious rumor that apparently started in Ipswich about Queen Elizabeth having dandruff on her eyebrows. Friskingham said that it is utter bollocks (or bullshit as they say in Fort Worth.)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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